I know what it’s like to be surrounded by people but feel completely alone.
I know what it’s like to snuggle sweet babies and kiss a God-given husband goodnight and still want to cry myself to sleep. I know what it feels like when you’ve completely checked out and think life isn’t worth living anymore.
I know what it feels like to not have a care in the world or a desire to live it.
I know what it feels like to hit rock bottom and barely have the energy to get out of bed. I know what it feels like to be hopeless, stuck, and confused even when your life looks good on paper... or on social media.
It's wonderful that people are talking more about mental health these days and attempting to normalize it, but walking the road of depression as a mom can feel very isolating.
Maybe you just had a baby and it's supposed to be all about those newborn snuggles, soaking in the naps as your precious newborn lays on your chest. But you aren't enjoying it like you could be or how you think you should be.
Maybe you have high levels of stress with kids, marriage, and a to-do list that's 10 feet long.
Maybe you went through a traumatic experience.
Maybe you have everything you've ever prayed for but still feel like something is missing or off.
Maybe you woke up one day and realized you're extra angry, yelling at the kids more, and not feeling like yourself.
Maybe you dream of buying a one-way plane ticket to escape the world you're in.
Maybe you're withdrawing from your best friends, spending more time alone, and becoming unmotivated.
Maybe you feel the need to push through the "hard months," thinking things will be better in time.
Maybe you're crying more or wishing you had a different life... or no life.
Whatever the case, mental health issues rarely look the same. They sneak up on you when you aren't aware or in tune with yourself, when your support system is nowhere to be found. It can be a rude awakening when you finally realize you're struggling.
As someone who has walked through circumstantial depression, postpartum depression and anxiety, the one recommendation I have is to be honest with yourself, even if you're used to always being "strong." Tell someone. Invite someone else in to your life and your mind. Go to the doctor and get help and do whatever you need to do to get back on track.
And don't forget, what works for that girl over there might not work for you. Take everything with a grain of salt and focus on your journey of getting back to the normal healthy YOU. Never EVER feel ashamed.
Lastly, give yourself grace. We all want to be the best version of ourselves and feeling well. But, things take time and sometimes you can't skip steps towards healing (no matter how bad you may want to). Yes, we're all in this together as moms, fighting for our families, starting businesses, loving our kids and doing all the things, but let's not pretend we're all "fine" all the time.
Maybe one person needs to hear this so just remember, it's OKAY to not be OKAY.
Cheering for you if you're walking through this journey of finding yourself again.