Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning. Between elementary school drop off, preschool drop off, gymnastics class, the baby’s nap schedule, grocery ordering, putting away laundry, doing dishes, feeding the dogs, making all the meals and nursing the baby, etc etc etc... it all feels heavy. More often than not, I’m overwhelmed by the mental load that motherhood comes with; the never ending to do list and the stream of “don’t forgets” running through my mind. It’s easy to get lost in the thick of the hard, but it’s those moments where I feel like breaking down, that I’m reminded of how much I am blessed.
I’m grateful for a reliable vehicle to take my children all the places they have to go and the fun places we get to go. I’m thankful for my husband’s job that pays our bills and puts food on the table. Laundry is oddly therapeutic for me, though I truly hate doing the dishes… but I’m happy that my kids have full bellies. I never take a single day, not a nap, not a nursing session, not a giggle or a tear that comes from my baby, for granted. He’s my last and so I soak him in.
When I slow down, take a deep breath, and truly see the chaos that is my home, I think about all the magic that is here. There’s magic in the little giggles that float from the play room. There’s magic in their imaginations. When they ask me to wear a superhero cape and play with them, it feels pretty magical to me. There’s magic in the new skills my baby boy continues to master. There’s magic in the bedtime stories and goodnight kisses and the good morning smiles.
Soon enough, there won’t be tractors strewn about my living room. I won’t have to wash a dozen cups a day, the trash won’t have to go out as often, and I’ll have much, MUCH less laundry. And just like in this moment now, I’ll remember the magic that is intertwined in the chaos. And I know I’ll miss it. So, if you’re like me, and you’re completely overwhelmed with the weight of motherhood.. take a deep breath, mama. Look around you. There is so much magic in the mess.